I miss...

Among all the things I miss… I miss “myself” the most…

Change … change and change… how much one should change her outer world to be perfect? To pretend as if there is no tomorrow… to pretend she knows her world…

Change is the only thing constant I know… I have seen my surround change… circumstances change… and attitude of people change…

I have witnessed the “so- called” friends change… their love for me change… but one thing I have not as yet adapted to is the change in me… my inner self…

People make fun of me… they say I have not matured… and won’t ever… I have some problem with my views… I am childish… I don’t understand things…  I know none of the alleged accusations are true. It’s simply… I don’t want to think crookedly… I do not want to be a complicated grown up…  So I don’t try to bring our any alternate meaning to simple incidents… I don’t try to think too hard while talking… I choose to overlook the intricate politics… I simply choose to ignore…I have learnt that ignorance is really bliss…  Still there are those numerous so-called human beings… who take my simplicity as something fake and ostentatious.. They never fail to say things behind my back…

All the while I am trying to adapt to the surrounding to be comfortable with myself and my world... But somewhere down the line I feel I am losing myself… as days are rolling by I am having more and more sense of a lost self… I despise the surround and those people who are tending to change myself…  I resist to the best of my abilities…  I know I won’t lose the battle so easily…  I will fight…

Still…today…

Among all the things I miss… I miss “myself” the most…