Random thoughts passing by!

Things happen beyond our control... we fall in love... fall out of it... dream.. let our dreams get shattered and rebuild our dreams in different dimensions... we aspire... we fail... we choose a lesser one and be happy with it...
but what if for a while everything changes... every rule that creates us... every rule that binds us... every norms that follow us... changes...


what if we just close our eyes and imagine for a while that 
1. There are no societal hindrances...
2. No other bondages...
3. None to criticize ...
4. none to spoil our ” image”...
5. None to give answer to...
6. We only have to follow your heart


What are the things we yearn to do? is there someone whom we like but cannot say so?
Is there someone whose presence lifts up our spirit…? Is there someone with whom we like spending time…? What are those things that we fancy to say to someone we love? What are the new things we wish to learn…? What are those cravings that we wish we could satiate?


Most of the time we forget to dive down in our heart and feel what we should feel and do because of things that hold us back… we forget to grasp the colours of our heart...be it black.. red... white... blue .. grey...  we are so much apprehensive about our outer world that we abandon the inner spirit... we ignore our passion… we overlook our craving… we ignore what we love…  


Break free… follow the heart… live the life as you dreamt of… love truly and be happy…during the process you would realize that the people who love you will understand you completely… the rest does not matter anymore!

I miss...

Among all the things I miss… I miss “myself” the most…

Change … change and change… how much one should change her outer world to be perfect? To pretend as if there is no tomorrow… to pretend she knows her world…

Change is the only thing constant I know… I have seen my surround change… circumstances change… and attitude of people change…

I have witnessed the “so- called” friends change… their love for me change… but one thing I have not as yet adapted to is the change in me… my inner self…

People make fun of me… they say I have not matured… and won’t ever… I have some problem with my views… I am childish… I don’t understand things…  I know none of the alleged accusations are true. It’s simply… I don’t want to think crookedly… I do not want to be a complicated grown up…  So I don’t try to bring our any alternate meaning to simple incidents… I don’t try to think too hard while talking… I choose to overlook the intricate politics… I simply choose to ignore…I have learnt that ignorance is really bliss…  Still there are those numerous so-called human beings… who take my simplicity as something fake and ostentatious.. They never fail to say things behind my back…

All the while I am trying to adapt to the surrounding to be comfortable with myself and my world... But somewhere down the line I feel I am losing myself… as days are rolling by I am having more and more sense of a lost self… I despise the surround and those people who are tending to change myself…  I resist to the best of my abilities…  I know I won’t lose the battle so easily…  I will fight…

Still…today…

Among all the things I miss… I miss “myself” the most…

the song that reminds me that someone is there... to hold me tight when nothing goes right...

Calvin and Hobbes!!

Pledge to be me!

Who Am I!!... do i really know...?

Beyond my biological and professional self there is another me that defines majority of myself. “I am a simple girl with simple choices in life.” This is the answer I used to give in the past when I asked myself “who am I?” But I know even if I still continue to be a simple girl, my choices are not simple anymore. I have a varied complex taste of different things. The very course of my life reveals that. Moreover I despise show-offs. I loathe hypocrisy, betrayal and lies. Though I can talk to anyone and everyone, I am very choosy about making friends. I rarely reveal my inner world to anyone but my very close ones. I detest nagging and shopping without a definite purpose.

I have my own set of imperfections as well. I tend to procrastinate things now and then. At times I tend to get swayed away by others, on the very contrary, at times I am so rigid that it’s very difficult to make me understand until and unless I am convinced myself. Like a typical Leo i am egoistic. I simply cannot stand it when someone hurts my ego.So I need loads of space in my life.  I am a bit short tempered which I am learning to control occasionally. Though I realize the worth of time, I tend to be impatient at times. I despise people who hover around and try to have a say in everything that comes across.

Though I have so many frailties,it does not imply that I am one of those people who pester about themselves and their outlook. I love to get drenches in rain. I adore the sweet smell of the soil after a heavy shower. I love the chirping of the birds in the wee hours of the morning. I like scribbling in my diaries, writing blogs, listening to music and reading books to pass my time. I love to be with my friends. As per my friends and my ex-colleagues my biggest strengths are my smile and my liveliness. I can smile even when I am not happy. I am a complete foodie and love any kind of food as long as it is spicy and tasty. 

I call a spade , a spade. If I cannot , then I keep quiet. In life people say never be truthful to anyone and everyone, as it may be like a double edged knife that will hurt you eventually. But as Kurt Cobain says, I also believe that I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not. 

Though there may be loads of dimensions in me which are yet to get revealed to even myself I presume this is in a nutshell what I am.

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(P.S- As written for my MBA First sem Behavioral Science assignment with slight modifications)

Devils of my life make my life worth living for... :)

I love the “devils” of my life… they are the ones who know the inner me…they are not fake in front of me... they are THEMSELVES… they never try to be sweet with me when they feel angry … they never tell me I am right when I have done wrong… they never praise me when they know I have done a blunder… they laugh at me when I make a fool of myself but never leave me alone… they pull my legs… but correct my mistakes… they scold me… they quarrel with me…  but hug me tight when i need it the most...

 they are aware of the darker side of me … yet love me… they never try to make me the “ideal” one… they never ask me to be sweet when I feel bitter… they never ask me to smile when I feel like crying to my heart’s content… they realize when I am angry and realize the cause of my anger… They never try to brush me off with their theories rather they listen to my heart and let me follow it… they never want me to stick to the morals and principles… they always ask me to do what I truly feel to be true...

They know the real me… the know me in and out… they never misunderstand me…

My devils are my strength… my devils are my guardian angels… my pillars of life… love you a lot… miss you…